/ critical

childhood memories

x-chromosome tried to kill me.

I don't know the story,

but mind compiles fragments.

y-chromosome promised x-chromosome marriage, to give up second child for adoption.

x-chromo has tacky ring.

Anything for love.

y-chromo, had arranged marriage in Korea.

y-chromo wanted to fuck x-chromo, and x found his wedding photo.

When marriage did not happen, x-chromo hated me.

After adoption, non marriage x-chromo wanted double suicide.

Plan take sleeping pills go driving, and hoped we died.

She did not want to go by herself.

Apparently x found God, and somehow in her finding god saved me?

Age 3 1/2. Standing on toilet goofed off, hit head on porcelain tub.

x-chromo getting ready for work.

She tells babysitter not to let me sleep, I hit head on side of tub.

x-chromosome told me, "If I fell asleep, I might not wake up."

Age 4 my first encounter with speed.

I ate every pill x-chromosome had in bag, and thought I was being sneaky by eating candy.

end result not taken to hospital, x-chromosome and buddies kept watch over me to

make sure I didn't have heart attack.

Age 6 first encounter with laxatives, on toilet for 4 days..

I'll skip over gruesome tramatic events.

age 21 last time x-chomo put hands on me, two weeks after birthday.

A blood bath between us, what made this time different.

I called police.

Traumatic abuse has left one hell of a memory.

x-chromosome conveniently forgets, but forget, I do not.