Table of Contents
Not a Typical Homewrecking Niteflirt Journal.
[Conspiracy of Terran Alien Myth, Discovering If Chief Joseph Sr and Jr are Legitimate Ancestors]
[Niteflirt Alisssandra's Advice: not kinky fetish phonesex Dial Direct: 1-800-863-5478 ext: 0189705]
[homewrecked] Audio Narrative.
[My husband randy allen hartman Photos of Alleged Children]
Sherman
5:10 pm
What isn't told in Sherman's obituary married three times and recovering drug addict. As if Sherman didn't have a life before going back to third wife.
Ironically enough I hold to Sherman's beliefs no matter what wrong he is done in life. Sherman made no qualms about who he was then.
Right or wrong Sherman was 98.7% honest. Sherman helped save my life. My mother didn't understand how Sherman went out of his way to save my life.
My mother wracked in her jealousy. Something was always wrong with my mother. A good example of my mother from Mommy dearest “no wire hangers”
[randy hartman]...
12:57 pm
Yesterday helped an acquaintance clean apartment. began raining when we left, first time in place I nearly went into wrong entrance. Meaning nearly hit curb I couldn't see Thanx to rain. Fuck, I panic made quick correction.
We went to dinner at a sports bar songs are playing food awful, service sucked, and last song I heard rob Thomas's lonely no more played. Felt like randy hartman was right there with Me.
We make our exit I'm stuck behind a white miniature truck with license plate number 814 81. I'm trying to forget u, but universe tells Me otherwise. Something or someone continues to foil plans against u.
Fuck My Life, I can't make this shit up. Frustrating, u want Me dead? Message received loud and clear. Tough having an obsessed serial psycho stalker/killer at My disposal. The problem I can't dispose of u…I married a reptilian cockroach!!!
Not happy in destruction left in ur wake? not a party until someone is truly dead. Fuck ur not a quitter.
In 2016 at 19th hole bar and grill fifth song played. We shot a few games of pool had awful time as per usual.
I played rob Thomas's lonely no more. After leaving bar u said, “song Made u feel something.” How vague of a response…made u feel what exactly? Zero reply followed. I will always feel ur absolute bullshit randy.
Stranger, song keeps following me 2 days ago at Walmart picked up a few items…song plays..
In Publix a week ago 3rd song down line plays.
I told u honey…once u left there is no coming back. ur allowed to miss Me once ur gone.
I'm not sure what u miss about Me. went out ur way to dehumanize, humiliate, and Debase who I am. u've 20 yrs of treating Me as if I don't exist, non equation, ohhh, as if I died.
Why bring dead back to living? Oh, shit must want zombie apocalypse starting with Me? Fuck, I'm honored. Oh, wait u began movement…My bad.
u've managed controlling, zombifying, and lobotomizing bitches. Still not happy with results? Why? Questions, I can't answer.
Now I've discussed matty healy…feeling a lil jealous? Stupid we live on 2 different planets, and if u read stupid. u'll see what I thought was wrong. -Duh- I'm allowed to say, “fuck, I'm wrong.”
The man u should be concerned with is Tupac. Unfortunately, 2pac epitome of masculinity head to toe. Only man I wanted children with. Fraternal twins girl Ayress Jade Winters and boy Aric James Winters.
Tupac is dead we live on 2 different plains ur competing with one who is dead.
Other concern I'm a chronic masturbator :)) ur dick is zero comparison nor will ur cock compare to how I touch Myself :) sad…I've told u a million times over. Perhaps reading in grey and white hopefully msg is received. problem ur a retarded male lacking comprehension.
Austin Earley, 5'11 with 2pac's frame..granted Pac was 5'7. :) right, honey eat it up. :) beeeotches, u've slept with hahaha… Now that's funny :)))
Sigh...
12:56 pm.
Writing about trauma feels more traumatic. Admitting physical, sexual, and emotional abuse. My high school senior thesis about very topic.
I am my own case study. Lends in my shame of having to write pleasantries in growing up.
I hate reflection looking into a mirror having eyes cast upon my fractured soul. Cringing knowing how dismembered, disconnected, and segmented. Mind, heart, and body 3 paralleled entities.
What writing perspective to use? Love feeling indecisive.. Normally I'm indecisive about dinner. paradox people feel I'm put together. Heh!
I stand str-8, eerily quiet, and didn't realize how my quietness unnerves others. Then again when I speak umm. People wouldn't expect to hear words fly from my lips rather shocking, grotesque, and realistic. Then I revert into my shell.
Truthfully, I dress like a bum living for comfort, my hair always a mess, but always clean I love smelling fragrant.
Favorite fragrances: Angel, amber, hypnotic poison, and be delicious.
Love soft citrus, vanilla, bergamot, lime. Harsh artificial scents make me gag. My hair, nails, and soft skin. My skin feels like silk,
I touch others with feather light delicacy. The same fashion grandmother Cho touched me. I miss my grandmother's touch velvety hands ever so gentle. Touch is important and meaningful.
Unfortunately, I'm afraid allowing others to touch me. If around family I'm comfortable with I'm alright with touch. if people look inside out others would be frightened in what's viewed.
I'm not looking forward to pain, depression, and feeling physically ill. Fuck path to self healing is fucking over rated.
I need to make changes. I'm sick of beating my head against wall apparently I haven't learned shit. If I'm repeating same fucking mistakes.
I want to feel complete, whole, and healthy having ability to walk away from anything unhealthy in My world. Ability in utilizing Tesla coil, I am receiver and transmitter took Me a long time in figuring mystery.
I hope thought scares whom tried controlling Me. A lil late in game..I've been meditating and transmuting. Clearing negative trees helpful Sakura, dogwood, willow, magnolia, redwood, Sequoia.
I planted meditative trees, trees are flourishing 17 yrs of growth.
[Fuck, Fuck, and Fuck]!!!
Time began 12:12 am.
Sigh, I hate crying worse than vomiting. Last time I cried in 2015 when my world flipped. Don't misunderstand my world was fucked, but capsized drastically.
Clearing out trauma…fuck, I'm scared, scared of unknown proverbial x in equation. What will happen, will I change for better or worse?
Integration of known personalities: Mel shell, Melissa core, military internal programs Z10RX2, livewire, diamond, pandora. Storybook training wizard of oz, princess and pea, 3 bears, Alice in wonderland. Disney training..list feels endless..
My mother told me at 15 I'd be locked in looney bin at age 36 due to My level of compartmentalization. I'm not 45 beat odd somehow.
Little bits at a time so my mind isn't lost. Reverse it's better to get lost in order to find myself. Fear of abandoning myself leaves me riddled with panic like I won't find myself.
[Wrapping randy hartman up]....
No, longer will u be a thought after today randy hartman. I need to process my pain, anguish, and disconnection.
Faceted compartmentalization held me back from being complete. Integration shell and core should scare the hell into everyone. Make zero Mistake I am coming for enemies seen and unseen.
I must have ample self love, confidence, and esteem. Everything u'll never be randy hartman hates Me bc I'm what u will never be self described words above u'll never rep.
Pretentious and pompous sorry ass beliefs. I'm sorry u'll miss Me writing about u.
Time in climbing attic and clearing out what I don't need anymore. I don't want traumatized laced memories bombarding mind.
I need peace of mind, bring Melissa out so I'm not afraid of Sun anymore. Funny a name I don't identify using not with anyone or myself.
A stubborn, willful, and chaotic child much love is necessary. I think I'm ready to nurture Melissa giving guidance and direction.
I hope by dropping ur tax id number gives Me time in releasing pressure. Fuck, I need to breathe
Good-bye
randy hartman
Federal Tax ID: 25-1814034 US
P.S
Number 1+9+3+1+9+8+7+8+3+4= 53 5+3= 8
Time 8+3+3= 14 1+4= 5
Duration 4+8= 12 1+2= 3
Tapped My cell? Fuck head. Don't worry u have a couple of yrs left better make good use before u die. I predicted emily wallgren's father's death.
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